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Misc facts of life
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 Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill.  Check 3
 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
 
 Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  "Yes" is the
 answer.
 
 It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in
 rats.
 
 Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
 
 The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
 nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
 
 The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because
 the average man can see better than he can think.
 
 Paranoids are people, too;  they have their own problems.  It's
 easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid,
 too.
 
 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make
 you feel happy to be on your way.
 
 Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from
 where you left them to where you can't find them.
 
 Law of Probability Dispersal:  Whatever it is that hits the fan
 will not be evenly distributed.