bald sarcasm

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i keep going back and forth on this issue.

it's not a big secret that i have trouble letting things go, things close to my heart. so it should not be a big suprise that i have a hard time letting this go, my blogger blog/journal/rant/mess/baby.

though my new 'home' is not complete, or finished in a way i would like ( if i know me, it never will be *lol* ), i do feel the need to let this all go here, and move on to the new place. this is my last post here. i will keep it though for as long as i can. to come back to. to remember. to see how things used to be. i will be moving all of the old archives over to my new 'home', as soon as i can.

links and bookmarks need to be changed to:

i hope to see you all on the other side,


world events are driving me nuts at the moment. i think i need to just relax with a long, soothing, healing massage. yes, that is just what the doctor ordered.

"...American cardinals backed down from a zero-tolerance policy of removing pedophile priests and indicated they would only go after repeat offenders..."

um, what?

my words are vaguely heard
no point in being spoken
build a throne of solid ice
that won't and can't be broken

maybe slut or maybe fun
or maybe fiesty me
maybe flirt or amiable
or maybe just not trusted

cruel words judgements spoken
listen, why defend?
truth or lies what does it matter
once the words are said.

ice unthreatened sunshine blocked
body limp and listless
eyes are dark and for the ice
the pain remains unspoken

now i know that words are read
and taken as the gospel
i watch the silent waters still
and fall as cubes of ice

turkish oil wrestling. turkey here i come!!!

train wreck oop's-e

"...Pope John Paul II issued his strongest statement yet about the sex abuse crisis, saying such activity was a "crime" and priests who had abused children had done "great harm"..."

"... The credibility of the Catholic Church in the US has been damaged following accusations it transferred priests known to have molested children instead of suspending them and informing the police..."

"... Some church officials say they fear the pope's comments could spark a "witch hunt" in the Roman Catholic Church, including among the gay community. Estimates of the number of homosexuals among seminarians and the 46,075 Roman Catholic clergy in the United States vary dramatically, from 10 percent to 50 percent. Christopher Bellitto, a church historian and academic editor of The Paulist Press in New Jersey, said homosexual clergy have told him they are terrified they will be made scapegoats as the scandal drags on..."

yes, we know who the scapegoats are going to be: gay male priests. i am not sure what planet you have been living on mr. pope, but to now just understand and acknowledge that pedophilia is a crime is um, a plain and simple crime on your part for ignoring it all these years. i mean, you knew it was going on and you just swept it under the carpet. so now you will instigate a witch hunt. it's not the first witch hunt in the church's history, now is it?

from a CNN link

in a dark, musty-dusty dank-swank adult theater in the bowels of crusty-dumpy hollywood, underage and with a fake id in tow, i watched my first adult movie: deep throat.

Linda (Lovelace) Boreman dead at 53.

my nasal cavities exploded this morning on the drive, like m-80's on wet grass. it's called hay fever, but i have never quite understood why it is called that? there is never hay or a fever associated with it out here. this morning it was just a race to find a paper towel, or some useable hankerchief in the jeep. this is all i could find at the moment and i used it to blow my nose with.

some things do last forever and it was not your words or love. hold on, i have to go blow my nose again.

life has it's moments, that is for sure.


long live geekdom

it has been an exhausting weekend so far. it always is that way when i have my niece, but it is a good feeling of exhaustion. i think this is the first time this weekend i have had a minute to myself? it will be a short lived minute though. there are phone messages that have gone unanswered. emails that need a reply. real life has suddenly taken on quite a priority and i have gotten nothing done on the computer as i had hoped. oh well. like i said, it will all be up by christmas.

well, back to cleaning the house. you see, a dear friend of mine is coming to visit me for a few days early next week......and i can't wait :))

just one more thing:

i know that you come here and read. why? i don't have a clue. i never, ever read your site. it was always like you though, to be the person to lurk and watch from a distance. i do know why you come though, don't we?

you can't shut me up. you can't talk over me. you will never, ever silence me again.



eight inch cock? or hell?

one of my favorite sites is back up and running. the goatee gallery. *woof*

survivor epidode 8 was another gripping episode with a suspenseful tribal council. sean outmaneuvered john and persuaded the majority of the other tribe members to vote him off. i wonder if your turn to be voted off will be next sean? i don't know how anyone on that island can stand to listen to you, let alone have to 'live' with you. your nothing but a trouble maker.

heroes: never to be forgotten

new at gay dot com, video chat. their best deal is $89.95 for 30 hours of video chat which must be used in 90 days. i smell a rip-off or a very, very expensive hobby. hmmmm, i went through my two hour free trial run in no time. good thing i have multiple gay dot com login's. i knew they would come in handy one day.

a former stud pup of the week has some new pictures up. what the hell, stud pup of the week, again!!! rock on shallowness!!! (you know, they just don't get much better looking then this. that's my opinion of course.)

"...Although Blake said he entered the restaurant to retrieve his gun, Joe Restivo, a co-owner of the restaurant Vitello's, told CNN Blake appeared to have retrieved nothing from the restaurant, but that he did come in, drink two glasses of water and left. Restivo said Blake appeared flustered..."

well robert, i guess you have to face the music now. it's not like i ever thought you shot your wife in the head?? okay bob i was being sarcastic, of course i did.

there again you do have the law on your side. i guess you will be hiring the dream team, like O.J. did? if your really lucky, you will get the same illiterate jury like he had, and get off!!! i can just picture the two of you becoming golf buddies in florida.




we get our new pc's today at work with the jumbo sized flat screens. sweet. we also get to take our old pc's home for free, how cool is that? ( my 'old' pc is only a year old ). i guess i can always use it for spare parts as i really don't need another pc at the moment.

today, life is good.

well, that is how i felt this morning. getting a new pc at work means the ip addy needs to be disabled and reassigned to me. so from lunch until the time i left work i had no internet connection. which means i can't log into the servers at work, which means no work got done, which means i just played games all day. ( it got rather boring after about the third hour. i mean how long can one play freecell..... )

"...After the crash, police found a note in Charles' pocket expressing support for Osama bin Laden and the September 11 attacks, an opinion that family and friends said he had not expressed previously...

the parents have to blame someone other then themselves.

$134.50 for a pair of pants that have essentially been spray painted??? hmmm, okay. whatever.

some good mucho mojo coming your way!!!

"...Some 15 percent of the more than 1,900 people killed during a year and a half of fighting between Israelis and Palestinians were under the age of 18..."

are they coming back for another season? who can't help but gawk at a train wreck?

it appears it is going to take me longer then expected to move into my new 'home'.

patience is a virtue. patience is a virtue. patience is a virtue.

i keep trying to convince myself of this.

i am the master of my domain. now what the fuck do i do?



college: typewriters and no spell check. i never was a writer, but i always had ideas. i still do it seems.

this looks like a very cool project and i hope it takes off. you send in a picture of yourself along with a voice recording of yourself saying, ' i am the master of my domain'. you know, match the face pictures with the voices. check it out at artificial coloring. now if i can only find one damn picture i really like of myself.... there has to be one.

oops. maybe this will mark the end for those annoying, wireless video camera pop up ads. let's hope so.

well i seemed to have woke up this morning in a bad mood. it's a foul yet very sad mood.

it must be because:

  • it's this damn metabolife i have been taking.

  • i watched 'driving miss daisy' last night.

  • ex-husband # (left blank) was in my dreams last night. again.

  • today is sunday, and that only means tomorrow is monday.

  • i have to do my taxes today.

  • all of the above

  • 4.13.2002

    while the rest of the world was out having fun on a friday night, i was stuck in the house scanning your friggen pictures. now it's my turn for revenge!!! are you embarrassed now that i posted one? i hope so!!! (inside joke)

    bryan is my best friend at work. see you monday buddy. oh, he is quite single and available hehe.... (i am going to catch hell on monday for saying that *lol*)

    Suicide Bomber Number# ? i have lost count:

    pic#1    pic#2    pic#3    pic#4    pic#5    pic#6    pic#7    pic#8    pic#9

    mr. arafat, i have to ask you. how do you sleep at night? how do you live with yourself?

    when i was growing up my dad used to have a saying which he always uttered after my sister and i had gotten into a fight and we were pointing fingers at each other. he would always say, "it takes two to tango". as the two of you do your dance of death and point fingers, innocent people are being murdered. murdered. not only that but you also have the world at the boiling point.

    mr. arafat stop your killing, mr. sharon just give them the land. enough is enough.

    president bush, have you taken the time to read this article?

    what the hell language is this, french? spanish? english?

    i have never really been into pompous displays of muscle and arrogance, nor arm bands for that matter. i am into shaved/buzzed/bald heads. if a moustache/goatee combo is put into the mix ...shazzam... we have a stud pup of the week!!!

    yes, i am proud to be shallow!!! i just realized something, there are a lot of hot dudes in new york.

    survivor epidode 7 had it's highs and it's lows. i was happy to see Kathy kick John's ass for the immunity challenge ( for the record i hate that guy. just because he is gay does not mean i have to root for him ). it saddened me to see rob voted off. i really enjoyed how he played the game, and he was also my pick to win it. oh well, that is what happens when you base your hunch on looks alone.

    "have any of you (say, all three of you that read this) felt a strange re-emergence of your former self inside your current self? like it's trying to break through and take over, which is good because your former self is so much better all around? this is happening to me. i don't know how i feel, but i'm not frightened. ah, the excitement of not knowing where the day will take you, or where you'll take yourself for that matter!"

    why yes, actually. that is what i have been feeling. it took me a bit to figure it out though.

    hey, no russian freaks are allowed here!!! just normal freaks, okay!!! there again, you could be a major russian stud pup, i better keep my opinions to myself for now. um, not!!!

    my first russian search engine hit. "sarah hughes" oral. that is just gross!!! just the "sarah hughes" part of course.

    why me? why do i always seem to come across things like this on the net and have to post them? osama yo' mama. cuz it's friggen funny and i have a sense of humor, that's why!!! plus i need a good laugh after reading articles like this one.

    another frivolous lawsuit. i guess the L.A.P.D. should start hiring psychics?

    pop a pill, get in shape

    i have a domain and now i am hosted. guess it's time to master movabletype. what have i jumped into?

    some of you have asked to hear my voice. not sure why, but here you go ( it's an easily filled request ). all the bald sarcasm one could take i think. just myself reading a post from 4/10/2002.

    listen and learn

    Butch Cassidy Days, Gay Summer Camp:

    whatever happened to camping. you know, ruffing it? with tents or cabins? um, condo accommodations? champagne breakfast? man, summer camp sure has changed!!!

    Price includes:

    • Condo accommodations with living room and full kitchen, in shared 2- and 3-bedroom units;
    • Welcome reception;
    • Any four of these five activities: hot-air ballooning, rafting, climbing, canoeing, and horseback riding. (No prior experience required for any of these.)
    • Two free days for hiking, biking, swimming, a trip to Yellowstone, or just relaxing;
    • Breakfast or breakfast supplies every day;
    • Lunch with each of four selected activities (hot-air balloon comes with champagne breakfast instead of lunch);
    • Four dinners;
    • Services of full-time trip coordinator and guide.

    Not included:

    • Airfare to Jackson;
    • 3-4 lunches; 3 dinners.

    thank god the comments are showing again. i was having a major panic attack over it and i was about ready to get real pissy.

    part of the fun of this are the comments. i enjoy hearing what other people have to say after i push some buttons *lol*..... i just noticed i have a total of 305 comments. i know, it's a very small number compared to other people, and at least half of those entries are my replies. it is still 305 memories now isn't it? i love that.

    a local city ordinance goes into effect here soon (may 9th, 2002):

    "Council members also voted for final approval of a pioneering cyber café ordinance governing businesses that offer Internet access for online game playing. These businesses attract large numbers of young people, often leading to juvenile crime problems and increased truancy. As adopted, the ordinance includes a provision that a manager or attendant over 21 years of age be present during all business hours. The ordinance also bans access by minors during school hours and restricts access by minors during non-school hours. The ordinance also requires cyber café owners either to operate anti-obscenity filtering software on computers used by minors or have an approved parental permission form on file in order for minors to enter the establishment."

    *raises hand*
    "excuse me, but isn't some of that the responsibility of the parent(s) or legal guardian(s)?"

    government again making sure it keeps us in line and out of trouble.

    something amazing happened over night. it was called sleep. my insomia started in september of the year 2000. last night was the first time since then that i have slept a whole night through. i wonder if the demons have finally been exorcised and i can move on from the nightmare of the past? time will tell i presume.

    just to make this clear, when you toy around with someone's feelings and screw them over, it has a lasting affect on the person. one thing is for sure: i will never, ever forgive you, nor will i ever forget the damage you created and caused. i know i have learned something from this life altering lesson and i will never make the same mistake again. that's really the only good thing that can come out of it and i think i have finally accepted it.

    silence is golden

    let summer begin


    "lazy people that do things half-ass, immaturity, codependents, pretentiousness, materialism, ultra-conservative, liars, drama-junkies, barflies, whores, antisocials, people who don't take care of themselves, or guys that are completely uncomfortable with their sexuality. I'm not attracted to effeminate guys. I'm allergic to cats. I know that everyone has baggage, but some people seem to pack better than others. If you have your act together and are looking for the same, I'd like to hear from you. Thanks."

    That's quite a list of demands. if i am going to rescue you, i guess i had better call my lawyer and get those damn contracts drawn up. are the cat's negotiable??

    LA's All-Girl U2 Cover Band.

    i need to check them out sometime.

    Women dominate men in civil union totals.

    this does not suprise me. it could be the "presence of children in more lesbian families". it could be. it also could be the inability of gay men to stay in committed type relationships. gay or straight, men don't appear to be running to the alter.

    i wanted to congratulate my friend Carol and her husband Bo on the birth of their first child.

    Introducing..... our precious baby!


    welcome to the world Maya!! ( oh my, that got me all teary-eyed )

    are you just a friggen moron? you and your lawyer? what next, ya gonna sue mickey d's cuz people get fat? i hate lawyers, and i hate people that sue for no logical reason. dude, sorry you lost your wife. i really am, from the bottom of my heart. you can't blame the airline for your loss. dude, our country was attacked, and there is a good chance it will be again. i hope your lawsuit gets thrown out of court asap. i think the whole friggen planet has gone insane. where is that meteor to start things from scratch?

    nothing like some monday evening angst. boy do i feel better now *lol*

    Part 1:

    i am feeling very odd, very peculiar today. i don't know if it's because it is a monday, or if it's because of the time change, or maybe it's the weather. it's like i know this feeling but i can't put a finger on it. it's a feeling i have not felt in many years. a masked feeling with no name, yet a feeling with some type of emotion surrounding it. i imagine in time this feeling will unveil it's self to me.

    It's a god-awful small affair

    To the girl with the mousy hair

    But her mummy is yelling "No"

    And her daddy has told her to go

    But her friend is nowhere to be seen

    Now she walks through her sunken dream

    To the seat with the clearest view

    And she's hooked to the silver screen

    But the film is a saddening bore

    For she's lived it ten times or more

    She could spit in the eyes of fools

    As they ask her to focus on

    Sailors fighting in the dance hall

    Oh man! Look at those cavemen go

    It's the freakiest show

    Take a look at the Lawman

    Beating up the wrong guy

    Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know

    He's in the best selling show

    Is there life on Mars?

    It's on Amerika's tortured brow

    That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow

    Now the workers have struck for fame

    'Cause Lennon's on sale again

    See the mice in their million hordes

    From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads

    Rule Britannia is out of bounds

    To my mother, my dog, and clowns

    But the film is a saddening bore

    'Cause I wrote it ten times or more

    It's about to be writ again

    As I ask you to focus on

    Sailors fighting in the dance hall

    Oh man! Look at those cavemen go

    It's the freakiest show

    Take a look at the Lawman

    Beating up the wrong guy

    Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know

    He's in the best selling show

    Is there life on Mars?

    d.bowie, 'life on mars'


    it is now 3:35 am. duh, i have insomnia again. my niece sleeps comfy and safe in my bed, while i ponder over the couch.

    cool beans, i purchased my first domain. i feel like i have lost my virginity, again?

    not sure how or where i stumbled upon this dudes site today, but i enjoyed it.

    I find men hitting on me flattering, and I can engage in long tender embraces with other men. But the thought of putting a dick in my mouth makes me twitch. I've been labeled "as gay as a straight guy can get"


    this is friggen hilarious. get ready to laugh!!! the link is courtesy of the chicago files.

    blogger, your really getting on my nerves!!! okay, i put back the post linkage. hmmm, not that i believe in conspiracies or anything, but i bet the paid folk don't go through this shit!!!

    on the topic of X below, for some reason i had forgot about this:

    i did get the chance to see X again almost two years ago. it was for the 'when the angels sing' benefit concert for the family of dennis danell. you can check out the pictures here.

    ( well to be honest i do know why i like to forget it. you see the egotistical, narcissist, self-centered, user of an a-hole and i went together. mr. controlling had to leave two songs into social d's set... *grrr* still pisses me off that i let him manipulate me, can't you tell?? that's another story for another day )

    compared to previous episodes, last nights survivor was quite tame. gina was voted off and i hated to see her go. the vote was understandable though.

    now Orion in the Sky was another story. that E.R. episode was a '5 hanky' ordeal. television just does not get much better then that.

    time for blue eyes and fur. stud pup of the week!!!


    some tasty german sauerbraten might be in order. american german yum!!!

    where applicable, don't forget to spring forward this weekend!!!