now for gross out and scary stuff:
Potatoes and Jelly, silly men and their toys. all i can say is, how? why? how? why? and *ouch**ouch**ouch*
the trailer to this movie looks purdy scary. Eight Legged Freaks
the first episode of the new survivor series starts tonight, Survivor 4. i of course always base my winner on looks alone. for series 4 i have chosen Rob the construction worker. i mean his luxury item is a football, he has to be the stud pup winner, right? i may change my mind of course after watching the first episode.
people are very passionate about their music, myself included. here come my sarcastic observations about last nights grammy awards. i have many of them that i had hoped to write down, but my observations are quickly fading. remember, it's all in humor.
of course, quick kudos to U2 ( had to get the positive in before the negative ) and Train. both groups were simply amazing.
i have never heard so many illiterate people speak in my life. their grammer was horrific.
is bono's hair starting to look kind of funny?
um, pink....it's time to get on that treadmill a little more often if you are going to be stripping your clothes off. i won't even go into that God-awful makeup or that God-awful song.
when did billy joel start to look like elton john's grandfather without hair? and where have i been while this transformation was going on?
poor poor sarah hughes. honey, you looked like bambi caught in the cross hairs of a hunters scope. a hunter right up close.
some people say that alicia keys can sing. why did i only hear screeching and screaming then?
is it just me, or does bob dylan look just like vincent price with a cowboy hat on? does he even realize he is at the grammy awards? again, where have i been during this metamorphosis.
well, here i go..... i promised i would not embarrass you. not that i would of course hehehe
mi amigo tom was out here on business so i drove over to meet up with him at the alcapulco mexican restaurant in long beach at the marina pacifica.
it seemed as if our booth was in the gay central part of the restaurant. we had the chub cubs in front of me, sharing the fajita platter ( i will take the super size meal deal, and the diet coke routine ). the retro twink friends or couple to the right, sucking down those blue drinks, yapping and taking most of their huge meals home. there is always a story, and it's always fun to try and figure it out.
i had a great time at dinner, and i don't think i have laughed that hard in quite awhile. as you can see, i am minding my p's and q's here *lol*. great time, great food, great fun. nuff said :)
today is the third time this week that a head hunter has called me. that's 3 times in 2 days. they usually only call three or four times a year. it would appear someone wants something, and you know what that means. more money and insecurity. this has been going on for the past 11 years that i have been employed by USC.
i know my parents and friends are going to shoot me in the back again over this. i am not going to do it. i love working for USC. i know i can do much better pay wise, but would that make up for the great environment i work in? it might be a mistake later on, but then i will deal with it.
i just found something out. here i thought blogger was dropping off old posts from the current month or i had accidently erased them.
they have been archived. they have to be read from the archives. *duh*
good to know i am not crazy after all.
it's going to be a very long day.
i have a recurring scream dream that decided to drop in for the night. the dream is basically the same each time. i sit down at a tv or a pc and i pop in a game. the game is always the same. the person in the game is being chased by every conceivable dinosaur known to have existed. the trick to the dream is that not only am i playing the game, but i am also the person in the game being chased by the dinosaurs. i am secure in knowing that while i run around being chased by the dinosaurs, they will be killed by me who is also playing the game. lost yet?
last night the dream decided to change
i jumped right into the play of the game, without playing it. i was literally running for my life. around every dark nook and cranny was a dinosaur waiting to devour me. if that were not bad enough, they were also flying down from the sky to scoop me up. i saw a familiar warehouse and i ran as hard and as fast as i could to it. i opened the door, slammed and locked it shut. as i turned around and glanced up i saw that the nasty t-rex was in the warehouse waiting for me. he lowered his head a few feet from my face. i could see the reflection of my face in his left eye as i stood there frozen in fear. the t-rex roared and lifted his head. he roared again, his mouth wide open. in slow motion he bored down upon me to eat me. a few feet above my head my mind decided i had had enough abuse and woke me up. i was covered in sweat and terrified with a heart beating as if i had just gotten off the treadmill.
i was not able to fall back asleep. yup, it's going to be a long day. i just love mondays.
i will never, ever watch titanic again. why?
a) it starts to bring back what are now painful memories of a very joyous and happy time in my life.
life is so damn complicated at times.
good lord. one of the many reasons i hate competition. it makes grown men and women act like little babies. i won't say that i hate sports because i don't, but i do hate what it brings out in people and in countries. it brings out the worst sometimes. emotions run very high in competition. for christs sake people will give their life to die over a soccer match.
let's just forget with the rules and dishonest judges and jealous countries and participants and just give each participant a gold medal from the start.
it's hard to believe that it's been 4 years this month that you passed away.
bruce, it was quite a shock when you died (2/5/98). it was so unexpected. the following year and in the same month (2/19/99), your 'sister' dasher died. again, unexpected. it was devastating. the two of you were like family to me. bruce, the ever stalwart male who i picked up as a kitten at a cat adoption center in long beach. dasher, the exuberant female kitten full of fleas and ear mites that showed up one day scared, tired and hungry, but full of love.
"maybe you should have a cocktail party!!!! Send out some invitations (on email) and have all the guys come over and play darts or trivial pursuit!
Have good music and good food and soon you will be in love and getting married!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!! that's how it always happens!!!! :) :) "
it still amazes me how a great friend, a dear friend you love with your heart can still just touch you, in that perfectly tempered way when you least expect it. you did warn me of the impending rattle and hum. i know, i was blinded and i did not listen to you. can you blame me though? you did tell me the truth. you taught me to never, ever put up with any bullshit. i have not put up with any bullshit since you uttered those words to me.
the road feels very long at times, but the ride always feels short once you have made your destination. it seems at times that the "devil ( is indeed ) in my car". it in no way suprises me though. i mean you fly into kindergarten and get kicked out a week later. how do you get kicked out of kindergarten? i then found my ass in first grade for just one week. i was then introduced to second grade and then third grade. this all happened in one year, to a little boy. from that time on, i really never had to do the real school stuff. i was put into special classes for the, um "advanced". nobody knew what to do with me, including my parents. my teachers and my parents kept trying to stimulate my brain. it was not until my junior year of high school that i got the attention i needed. i failed a course on purpose, geometry. bless that teachers heart. she knew i was doing it on purpose, but still wanted me to do well in life. she gave me a "d" in the class, and not an "f". i have found my way in life with some very great friends, some good prof's in college, and a still supportive family.
i know i am different, i get told this all the time. it is hard growing up as a hyperactiveshydyslecticbrainiaccomputernerdhomo. honest, it is.
i have managed to piss away most of this week. i guess i have to take care of a weeks worth of business today.
there are some really nice people out there, and there are also some major a-holes. i believe in the good of people, or i try to. though i thanked this person privately, i am also going to thank you here. your words, your kind words made my day. the strange thing is, i am just doing this for me, i am just being myself. it is my own personal outlet.
i thought the days of white people putting on black face were long over. just because your a bad drag queen, does not make it right or give you an excuse to be.....oh, never mind.
i guess i need to just lighten up, before my head explodes.
this is for a very special friend:
it's rough out there, and it's also very painful at times. we come barreling out of our mothers wombs only to be greeted with a big slap on the ass. we are constantly bombarded with signs, road signs. do we turn left? right? or keep going straight? then there are those days when we question ourselfs. what if i hadn't of turned right that particular day?
remember, you are never alone. we have friends and family, and somtimes we need to share our burdens with others. it makes the load so much lighter. it helps us to realize we are not alone in what were going through. don't worry about the big picture. don't worry about "what if's". take life one day at a time, and enjoy yourself. don't take anything for granted, and try to be happy. do something fun for yourself. do something for you. be proud that you took the risk, the chance.
of course, there is always the big picture:
"let's see. i am a human being sitting here at my desk using a computer which is sitting on the planet earth which is rotating around a sun which is 98 million miles away and were in what's called the milky way galaxy which is 100 thousand light years across containing 750 billion solar systems out of trillions of solar systems and galaxies in the universe. lets not even mention those things about a god, dinosaurs, aliens, bigfoot and hemorrhoids."
Hello, My name is Luke and I saw your profile on xxxxxx. I just moved to
California and am looking to meet new people. You seem like a nice guy
and I thought we could chat and take it from there. I'm 23, Italian,
nice build, 5'11, 165lbs, black hair and brown eyes. You can see some
pics of me here
Hope to hear from you soon.
um, sure. let's smoke some crack soon, okay? of course, it's not going to be from your crack.
"damn, and the doctor just took me off twinkies"
it's 4 am in the morning, and i still can't fall asleep. why do i continue to feel so guilty? why do the demons consistently haunt me?
why is love so hard? sometimes you have to teach someone a lesson, someone you love and care about very much.
i have spun around on this planet for 43 friggen years now, and matters of the heart never seem to get any easier. i miss you. i miss you so very much. yes, you.
as i showered this morning something dawned on me. the water in the tub was up to my ankles. this happened on the same day my dryer stopped heating up. i smell trouble.
on a lighter note, here are a couple of fun games. oh no!!! my parents are coming over!!! ( who can't relate to this at one time or another ) or a take off of the old electronic simon game, simon says, simon forgot.
"...Ooh, the years burn. I used to be a little boy..."
some of my earliest and fondest childhood memories are of the water. specifically the ocean. i remember my first trip to the beach with my mother. picnic basket, towels and unbrella in tow. i was fascinated by the way the tide ebbed and flowed, causing the roar and crash of each wave onto the sandy beach. i remember trying to stand in the churning surf like a baby taking it's first steps. i soon lost count of how many times i succombed to the surf, only to find myself gagging on surf froth and foam. my nose stinging and reeling from the salt water it had absorbed. this prepared me though for a life and love of the ocean. i can't recall how many weekends, adding into years i spent on my fathers first boat or my teenage and college years spent surfing. there is something very magical about early mornings and surfing, only to be surrounded by dolphins.
i have had a very blessed and fortunate life. most of my goals and dreams have come true. i always wanted to live by the ocean, and i did, but it was 7 blocks away. i guess that was close enough. though some dreams still elude me, i do have faith that they may one day come true.
if you should ever happen to come across me here, on an atoll in the middle of nowhere with a significant other in tow, you will know that i will have died a very happy man and that all my dreams did indeed come true.
guilty until proven straight. i see the (i)diots were (o)ut (w)alking (a)round again.
it's friday and time for stud
happy valentines day.
todays SAT math question for the day.
speaking of today, today is valentines day. thank god i am not participating this year. i would hate to go out and purchase something from my heart, only to have an ungrateful, egotistical recipient ridicule my gift as "not being the right......" *grrrrr*
the secretary dies.
Don't let 'em pick guitars or drive them old trucks.
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love.
rest in peace waylon. i will never forget how you came into my life. quite a story there. maybe one day to be told?
yum yum. i just received my very first oral sex donation!! it was a very large, very generous donation!!
You have received a donation of 14 acts of fellatio from
The donor added this comment:
i want to thank the donor for such a grand donation!!. i can't wait to rise to the occasion!!
happy chinese new year!! the year of the horse.
of course i am the dog. it does sound very much like me though.
the circus passed by me. so close did the travelling freak show pass that my skin began to crawl. it was as if Clive Barker had unleashed his Cenobites upon my flesh.
as i sat there in the darkness some yards away, the entourage passed us by. the asshole boy toy and 'his' unattractive, midget sugar daddies. the scene was nothing short of pathetic, disturbing and unnatural. it was not compatible with reality or fact.
sensing my unease, the stud pup took ahold of my hand and squeezed it so very tight. i glanced into those baby blue eyes and felt the calm waters of reality and light. i smiled as he gave me that signature smirky grin. in an instant laughter overcame me and it was contagious. our laughter started to cause a scene so we opted to head out through the door and into the night for another romp somewhere else. of course, the good times and the laughter came along for the ride as we vanished into the night.
as i left for the store this afternoon, i glanced up and saw this. it turned mid-day into mid-dark. the aftermath of two days of the santa ana winds, and fire.
one of my favorite movies of all time is on this evening, 'The Joy Luck Club'. it's a fitting movie to top this weekend off.
it has given me a pause to think and i too have started to go through my past. i have rummaged through old musty boxes and drawers filled to capacity. closets stacked with the help of years and years to do it. files of paper work that no longer make sense to me.
the box of old magic tricks from my boyhood. boyscout uniforms that have long since not been worn. cards from people since my birth, many whom i never knew. to go menus of restaurants long gone out of business. a high school diploma of an old partner in crime. a note left on my car from someone who once thought he loved me. pictures and letters from loved ones. some present, some past.
it is time to clean house not only in the literal sense, but also in the figurative. my childhood is going to my niece. the diploma is going to be mailed back to the owner. the note i will personally keep. memories are tricky, in that i don't know which ones to save. which memories will i want to call back one day to view, touch, hold or smell?
the trash on the curb this week is filled with many of my memories destined for a landfill. many more memories in the weeks to come will have the same fate. it has been hard for me to do, and i have shed quite a few tears over it, but it also feels so very good, to let those memories go.
um, who cares. do it. i dare you.
i can just hear the conversation:
my militant act-up days are long past, but shit like this still pisses me off. to top it off, an infant child was involved as well.
Daily Free Movies, or 'rent' a movie to view on your pc for 3 days.
um, duh it's not legal. at least in this country. what the hell? it's the internet.
finally a friday and time for stud pup of the week!!!
it's all very simple.
a) your drunk all the time while traveling and never noticed a flyer rack on each side of the elevator.
i hope that might help you out robb?
......thank gawd i ain't queer......
......big 'ol titties and beer......
this was truly amazing. The Amazing World of Colorgenics.
i have to admit that my profile was very near the mark. not just the present, but also the not so distant past. it was quite eerie. my colorgenics profile.
those poor enron employees. ex-employees i mean.
my personal 'jetpack'. hey, don't laugh!!! remember the old comic books with dick tracy and his super duper watch???
i rest my case.
"i like meeting someone who tries not to compete with me in a relationship but
creates a sense of security and confidence beteween the two"
some gay dood out there in internet land had this written up in his profile. it struck a nerve with me and i want to always remember it. it is so true, about how i feel anyways. when you don't compete and are with a partner who is into nothing but non-stop competition, it should be your first clue that your relationship is doomed. also, if your partner is not giving any security and confidence to the relationship, that should be your second clue that the relationship is doomed.
even if i am blinded by love, i will never settle for less then the above, again.
"it is what it is"
sometimes i fantasize about not being born yet. specifically, being born in the future. far into the future. call me a geek or a nerd, but i have always wanted to experience space flight. how cool would it be to go to our moon, mars or a far off space station for the weekend. how cool would it be to see the planets and their moons up close. for the ultimate, how cool would it be to visit another galaxy.
the private sector is going to have to initiate the commercialization of space for tourism. sorry, but i don't see that as a priority for nasa. this appears to be an interesting vision, start to it.
maybe my dream will come true while i am still fortunate to be alive on this planet.
today, his bail was denied.
johnny walker red (lindh) has been indicted on 10 counts. what a fucking surprise.
A federal grand jury Tuesday indicted John Walker Lindh on 10 counts, charging him with being a terrorist trained by al Qaeda who conspired with the Taliban against Americans.
"Even after Walker Lindh learned of the September 11 attacks on the United States, he remained with a Taliban fighting group, the attorney general said."
"He remained despite having learned of the terrorist attacks on his homeland, despite knowing that Osama bin Laden was responsible for those attacks, and despite the knowledge that ... additional terrorist attacks and acts were planned.
okay, check out last nights b-52's 25th anniversary concert. having seen them live before i can imagine how great it was. maybe i can catch them out here. i hope i hope i hope.
"i will never, ever, ever watch fear factor again while eating"
um, say it again. this time mean it.
"i will never, ever, ever watch fear factor again while eating"
my mother has started to give me things. you know, items from when you were a baby. items from when you were a small child. even items from when you were a teenager, some of them you have never seen or heard about before. cards, letters, birth annoucements, pictures, old toys, clothes. she is even talking freely about my real father.
i think something is wrong.
hey momma, do you remember when you pinned this on me? you were so proud. dad was too i think, but you can't ever tell from his face. that's for you momma, i hope you get to feeling better.
yes, i was a boy scout. funny, some things never change. i am still a boy scout, in many different ways if you catch my drift. there is a story there. being a horny teenager, and a boy scout. those long weekend campouts. those weeks at boy scout camp.
i made it through it all, an eagle scout to boot.
All the trees are red
No one ever dies there
No one has a head."
yes, i'am a geographically challenged loser!!! and a huge b-52's fan!!!
Roam around the world
Roam if you want to
Without wings, without wheels."
i was not sure as to why U2 would play the super bowl. it would not seem like me band. super bowl sunday does coincide with bloody sunday. sunday, bloody sunday. maybe they just wish to give a little back to a country that has embraced them for the last twenty years?
anyways, does it really matter? their short set was very moving, very exciting and very appropriate. rock on guys!!! (i could kick myself for not taping it)
items not allowed into this years super bowl:
okay, that will eliminate about 99.9 percent of the white trash terrorists coming to the game. what about the other .1 percent? that's what bothers me. they are also asking that you get to the stadium 5 hours before game time. hmmmm, i hope it's worth it.
one plus, U2 will be playing during half-time. can't wait for that!!! rock on guys!!!
last night i jetted down to long beach for dinner and fun. one of my best friends, fred, took me out for a belated birthday dinner. ( yes it's been over a month since my birthday, but i am not complaining ) of course my choice for dinner was chens, my favorite chinese restaurant. one of my favorite restaurants period.
after filling our bellies with awesome food, we headed out for a walk down broadway. we darted in and out of shops and bars. we chatted up with old and new friends found along the way. we danced the dance with other freaky creatures of the night.
all in all, it was fun fun fun.
thank you robb for the link button. not only was that a very nice thing for you to do, but hey, how dang cool is that!!
can i rub your buzzed head while i do the licky licky on your tat's? it's friday and time for stud pup of the week!!!